Good evening friday!
Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'Phase one?' wonders Ken.
'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'
Pleasant friday everyone!
Have an awesome 2011 ahead!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Friday Fever 71
Good morning friday!
It was Christmas Eve. Harry and Shirley had returned from an enjoyable midnight mass at their local church. They arrived home and spent a short while relaxing by an open fire before retiring to bed.
Some time in the middle of the night they were awoken by heavy knocking on their front door. Harry was very unhappy about this. He went down stairs and noisily unlocked the door to be confronted by disheveled man who was obviously the worse for drink.
'Th'cuse me thur. Will you helpth me with a puth."
"Help you with a push!" said Harry. "You drunken idiot! Get away from my house before I call the police! Irresponsible people like you should be banned from driving!" And slammed the door into the man's face.
He went back to bed and was astonished to find himself being reprimanded by his wife.
"How could you be so mean and uncharitable." she said. "Surely this evening's sermon must still be ringing in your ears. How the innkeeper turned Joseph and Mary away on Christmas Eve. Here you are presented with the same situation and you show yourself to be no better than that uncaring man. Shame on you."
Harry was shocked by the relevance of what he had done and was full of remorse. He ran down the stairs and opened the front door, but the man was no longer there. So, he ran down the path to his front gate to see if the man or his car was along the road; but there was no traffic or people at all.
On the off-chance that the man might still be around somewhere he shouted loudly. "Hey mister, needing a push, where are you?
The unmistakable drunken voice replied immediately. "Over here thur, on the thwing."
Have yourself a merry little christmas everyone!
Pleasant friday ya'll!
Regards from your wisest most talented and caring leader,
Felix
It was Christmas Eve. Harry and Shirley had returned from an enjoyable midnight mass at their local church. They arrived home and spent a short while relaxing by an open fire before retiring to bed.
Some time in the middle of the night they were awoken by heavy knocking on their front door. Harry was very unhappy about this. He went down stairs and noisily unlocked the door to be confronted by disheveled man who was obviously the worse for drink.
'Th'cuse me thur. Will you helpth me with a puth."
"Help you with a push!" said Harry. "You drunken idiot! Get away from my house before I call the police! Irresponsible people like you should be banned from driving!" And slammed the door into the man's face.
He went back to bed and was astonished to find himself being reprimanded by his wife.
"How could you be so mean and uncharitable." she said. "Surely this evening's sermon must still be ringing in your ears. How the innkeeper turned Joseph and Mary away on Christmas Eve. Here you are presented with the same situation and you show yourself to be no better than that uncaring man. Shame on you."
Harry was shocked by the relevance of what he had done and was full of remorse. He ran down the stairs and opened the front door, but the man was no longer there. So, he ran down the path to his front gate to see if the man or his car was along the road; but there was no traffic or people at all.
On the off-chance that the man might still be around somewhere he shouted loudly. "Hey mister, needing a push, where are you?
The unmistakable drunken voice replied immediately. "Over here thur, on the thwing."
Have yourself a merry little christmas everyone!
Pleasant friday ya'll!
Regards from your wisest most talented and caring leader,
Felix
Friday, December 17, 2010
Friday Fever 70
Good morning friday!
An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: "All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven."
The old man says, “No problem,” as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang harassing a young woman.
He got out of his car, walked up to one of the bikers, who was over seven feet tall and must have weighed nearly 400 pounds, and told the biker that abusing and harassing a woman is a cowardly act and that he would not tolerate it in his presence.
He then reached up, yanked out his nose ring, stepped on his foot, and kicked him in the groin to make his point.
St. Peter is frantically searching the man’s life in his book in front of him and says, “I can’t find that incident anywhere in your file. When did that happen?”
The old man looks down at his watch and says, “Oh, about five minutes ago.”
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
An elderly gentleman is standing at the pearly gates and St. Peter addresses him: "All you need to have done is one good deed, and we will allow you passage into heaven."
The old man says, “No problem,” as he recounts to St. Peter that he once stopped at an intersection and saw a motorcycle gang harassing a young woman.
He got out of his car, walked up to one of the bikers, who was over seven feet tall and must have weighed nearly 400 pounds, and told the biker that abusing and harassing a woman is a cowardly act and that he would not tolerate it in his presence.
He then reached up, yanked out his nose ring, stepped on his foot, and kicked him in the groin to make his point.
St. Peter is frantically searching the man’s life in his book in front of him and says, “I can’t find that incident anywhere in your file. When did that happen?”
The old man looks down at his watch and says, “Oh, about five minutes ago.”
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday Fever 69
Good morning friday!
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday Fever 68
Good morning friday!
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?"
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday Fever 67
Good morning friday!
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want right?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hungry leader,
Felix
One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.
Tom wasn't happy about that: "When are you going to learn to be polite?"
Bill: "If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?"
Tom: "The smaller piece, of course."
Bill: "What are you whining about then? The smaller piece is what you want right?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hungry leader,
Felix
Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday Fever 66
Good morning friday!
Here's a revisit of one of the most innovative reads which was once sms-ed to your handphones long ago. I rather like it, so it's a repeat. ^^
Letter of Recommendation
While working with Mr. X, I have always found him
working studiously and sincerely at his table without
gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. X should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to management be
sent away as soon as possible.
Branch Manager
--------------------------------------------------------
A second note following the report:
Mr. X was present when I was writing the report mailed to you
today. Kindly read only the alternate lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9...
for my true assessment of him.
Regards,
Branch Manager
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Here's a revisit of one of the most innovative reads which was once sms-ed to your handphones long ago. I rather like it, so it's a repeat. ^^
Letter of Recommendation
While working with Mr. X, I have always found him
working studiously and sincerely at his table without
gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
finishes the given assignment in time. He is always
deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. X should be
pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to management be
sent away as soon as possible.
Branch Manager
--------------------------------------------------------
A second note following the report:
Mr. X was present when I was writing the report mailed to you
today. Kindly read only the alternate lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9...
for my true assessment of him.
Regards,
Branch Manager
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Friday, November 12, 2010
Friday Fever 65
Good morning friday!
THE UPDATED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK
DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week!
THE MANAGEMENT
I'll be a good manager someday! ^^
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and manager-to-be leader,
Felix
THE UPDATED EMPLOYEE HANDBOOK
DRESS CODE
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
SICK DAYS
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
PERSONAL DAYS
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
BEREAVEMENT LEAVE
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
RESTROOM USE
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
LUNCH BREAK
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week!
THE MANAGEMENT
I'll be a good manager someday! ^^
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and manager-to-be leader,
Felix
Friday, November 5, 2010
Friday Fever 64
Good afternoon friday!
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.
The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire."
The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there."
The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations."
The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?"
The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"
Pleasant friday ahead everyone! Enjoy your deepavali!
Regards from your wisest most talented and mighty leader,
Felix
A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong.
The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire."
The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there."
The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations."
The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?"
The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!"
Pleasant friday ahead everyone! Enjoy your deepavali!
Regards from your wisest most talented and mighty leader,
Felix
Friday, October 29, 2010
Friday Fever 63
Good morning friday!
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son! It's time to go to school!"
"But why mom, I don't want to go!"
"Give me 2 reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready!"
"Give me 2 reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!"
Pleasant friday ahead everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up son! It's time to go to school!"
"But why mom, I don't want to go!"
"Give me 2 reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready!"
"Give me 2 reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the principal!"
Pleasant friday ahead everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Friday, October 22, 2010
Friday Fever 62
Good afternoon friday!
An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question,
"Have you ever been arrested?"
He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in affirmative to the preceding one, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway, "Never got caught."
Pleasant friday ahead, everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
An applicant was filling out a job application.
When he came to the question,
"Have you ever been arrested?"
He answered, "No."
The next question, intended for people who had answered in affirmative to the preceding one, was "Why?"
The applicant answered it anyway, "Never got caught."
Pleasant friday ahead, everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, October 15, 2010
Friday Fever 61
Good morning friday!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmaribgde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat lteters be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Pnlseaat fdairy eynoevre!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmaribgde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat lteters be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Pnlseaat fdairy eynoevre!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, October 8, 2010
Friday Fever 60
Good afternoon friday!
There was a bus driver notorious for reckless driving. One fine day, he had only 1 passenger on board - a priest. Unfortunately, the bus driver while doing a sharp turn, lost control of the bus and sent the bus off a steep cliff. Needless to say, both of them died.
At the pearly gates, St Peter checked the records and told the priest, "You shall reside in the middle class section in heaven like most others, based on the fact that you dedicated your life to spread the word."
The priest felt pleased that he earned a place in heaven.
Saint Peter then turned to the bus driver and said, "As for you, you qualify for upper class."
The priest was astounded. He questioned. "Hey, there must be a mistake! This driver drives madly and puts the lives of his passengers at risk. In fact, it is because of him that the both of us are here! And now he actually qualified for upper class in heaven!? When I am only middle class!?"
Saint Peter answered, "Hey... let me tell you why... when you preach, everyone falls asleep. But when this guy drives, everyone starts to pray."
Pleasant day ahead everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and forthcoming leader,
Felix
There was a bus driver notorious for reckless driving. One fine day, he had only 1 passenger on board - a priest. Unfortunately, the bus driver while doing a sharp turn, lost control of the bus and sent the bus off a steep cliff. Needless to say, both of them died.
At the pearly gates, St Peter checked the records and told the priest, "You shall reside in the middle class section in heaven like most others, based on the fact that you dedicated your life to spread the word."
The priest felt pleased that he earned a place in heaven.
Saint Peter then turned to the bus driver and said, "As for you, you qualify for upper class."
The priest was astounded. He questioned. "Hey, there must be a mistake! This driver drives madly and puts the lives of his passengers at risk. In fact, it is because of him that the both of us are here! And now he actually qualified for upper class in heaven!? When I am only middle class!?"
Saint Peter answered, "Hey... let me tell you why... when you preach, everyone falls asleep. But when this guy drives, everyone starts to pray."
Pleasant day ahead everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and forthcoming leader,
Felix
Friday, October 1, 2010
Friday Fever 59
Good morning friday!
World-famous boxer Mohamed Ali once boarded a plane on a trip to San Fransisco. While all the other passengers buckled up for safety before take-off, he was the only one who sat casually without putting his safety belt on.
An air stewardess came up to him and said smiling, "I'm sorry, we'll be taking off soon, would you please buckle your safety belt?"
Ali, in a haughty tone boasted, "Superman doesn't need safety belts."
The stewardess, still smiling, said, "But superman doesn't need airplanes either."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
World-famous boxer Mohamed Ali once boarded a plane on a trip to San Fransisco. While all the other passengers buckled up for safety before take-off, he was the only one who sat casually without putting his safety belt on.
An air stewardess came up to him and said smiling, "I'm sorry, we'll be taking off soon, would you please buckle your safety belt?"
Ali, in a haughty tone boasted, "Superman doesn't need safety belts."
The stewardess, still smiling, said, "But superman doesn't need airplanes either."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Friday, September 24, 2010
Friday Fever 58
Good morning friday!
A woman pregnant with twins got into a car accident and went into a coma...
She was rushed to the hospital where doctors delivered her twins to save them. But as she was in a coma and her husband was overseas on business, her brother was the only one present to name her children.
When she came out of the coma, hours after arriving at the hospital, and found out that her brother had named the twins, she was very worried. Her brother was not very bright, and she didn't think he would have done a very good job of naming her kid's names.
When he came in to see her she asked, "So what names did you choose for my children?"
He replied, "The first born was a girl."
"Oh," started the woman, "and what did you name her?"
"Denise," answered her brother.
The woman was very surprised, and very pleased, "Hey, that's not half bad!" She exclaimed to her brother. "And what did you name the second child?" She waited excitedly to hear the name her brother had chosen for the other.
"Well, the next born was a boy," her brother informed her.
"Yes, and what did you name him?" inquired the woman.
"Denephew" he said.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and outstanding leader,
Felix
A woman pregnant with twins got into a car accident and went into a coma...
She was rushed to the hospital where doctors delivered her twins to save them. But as she was in a coma and her husband was overseas on business, her brother was the only one present to name her children.
When she came out of the coma, hours after arriving at the hospital, and found out that her brother had named the twins, she was very worried. Her brother was not very bright, and she didn't think he would have done a very good job of naming her kid's names.
When he came in to see her she asked, "So what names did you choose for my children?"
He replied, "The first born was a girl."
"Oh," started the woman, "and what did you name her?"
"Denise," answered her brother.
The woman was very surprised, and very pleased, "Hey, that's not half bad!" She exclaimed to her brother. "And what did you name the second child?" She waited excitedly to hear the name her brother had chosen for the other.
"Well, the next born was a boy," her brother informed her.
"Yes, and what did you name him?" inquired the woman.
"Denephew" he said.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and outstanding leader,
Felix
Friday, September 17, 2010
Friday Fever 57
Good morning friday!
Three men were traveling the amazon: a canadian, an american and a mexican.
They got captured by a fierce tribe of amazons.
The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. But they were given a chance to put something behind their backs before that, and if they can survive the 10 painful whips, they will be released.
He asks the canadian, "What do you want on your back before whipping?"
The canadian responds, "I will take oil!"
So the amazons applied oil on his back, and a large amazon whips him 10 times. But when he is finished, the canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The amazons haul the canadian away, and the tribe chief says to the mexican, "Now, what do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing! I will take the whips like a real man!" shouted the mexican, and he boldly stands there taking his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
The tribe chief is rather impressed. He turns to the american, "It's your turn, what do you take on your back?"
"I want the mexican!" he exclaimed.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and happy leader,
Felix
Three men were traveling the amazon: a canadian, an american and a mexican.
They got captured by a fierce tribe of amazons.
The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. But they were given a chance to put something behind their backs before that, and if they can survive the 10 painful whips, they will be released.
He asks the canadian, "What do you want on your back before whipping?"
The canadian responds, "I will take oil!"
So the amazons applied oil on his back, and a large amazon whips him 10 times. But when he is finished, the canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The amazons haul the canadian away, and the tribe chief says to the mexican, "Now, what do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing! I will take the whips like a real man!" shouted the mexican, and he boldly stands there taking his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
The tribe chief is rather impressed. He turns to the american, "It's your turn, what do you take on your back?"
"I want the mexican!" he exclaimed.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and happy leader,
Felix
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday Fever 56
Good morning friday!
A family who had just moved into a new neighbourhood was anxious to make a good impression. But the neighbours seemed cold and made no overtures of welcome.
The mother of the brood was overjoyed when finally her youngest son ran in and announced happily, "Mommy, the lady down the street asked for my name today!"
"Oh, how nice!" exclaimed the mother enthusiastically. "And then what did she do?"
"Then she gave it to the policeman," the boy said.
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
A family who had just moved into a new neighbourhood was anxious to make a good impression. But the neighbours seemed cold and made no overtures of welcome.
The mother of the brood was overjoyed when finally her youngest son ran in and announced happily, "Mommy, the lady down the street asked for my name today!"
"Oh, how nice!" exclaimed the mother enthusiastically. "And then what did she do?"
"Then she gave it to the policeman," the boy said.
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
Friday, September 3, 2010
Friday Fever 55
Good morning friday!
Why chinese shouldn't have christian names:
Anne Chang: dirty (mandarin)
Anne Chin: keep quiet (mandarin)
Faye Chen: dusty (mandarin)
Carl Cheng: buttock (hokkien)
Monica Cheng: touch your buttocks (hokkien)
Lucy Leow: you are dead (hokkien)
Jane Tan: frying eggs (mandarin)
Suzie Leow: lose till death (hokkien)
Henry Mah: hate your mom (mandarin)
Corrine Tai: poor fellow (hokkien)
Paul Chan: bankrupt (mandarin)
Nelson Tan: bird laying eggs (mandarin)
Leslie Tong: rubbish bin (mandarin)
Carmen Teng: leg hair long (hokkien)
Connie Mah: call your mother (cantonese)
Danny See: squeeze you to death (hokkien)
Rosie Teng: screws and nails (mandarin)
Pete Tsai: nose droppings (hokkien)
Macy Koh: never die before (cantonese)
Disclaimer: These were extracts and there was no intention of insulting or causing any disrespect to anyone's name if they belong to anyone by coincidence.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your innocent kindhearted and pleasant leader,
Felix
Why chinese shouldn't have christian names:
Anne Chang: dirty (mandarin)
Anne Chin: keep quiet (mandarin)
Faye Chen: dusty (mandarin)
Carl Cheng: buttock (hokkien)
Monica Cheng: touch your buttocks (hokkien)
Lucy Leow: you are dead (hokkien)
Jane Tan: frying eggs (mandarin)
Suzie Leow: lose till death (hokkien)
Henry Mah: hate your mom (mandarin)
Corrine Tai: poor fellow (hokkien)
Paul Chan: bankrupt (mandarin)
Nelson Tan: bird laying eggs (mandarin)
Leslie Tong: rubbish bin (mandarin)
Carmen Teng: leg hair long (hokkien)
Connie Mah: call your mother (cantonese)
Danny See: squeeze you to death (hokkien)
Rosie Teng: screws and nails (mandarin)
Pete Tsai: nose droppings (hokkien)
Macy Koh: never die before (cantonese)
Disclaimer: These were extracts and there was no intention of insulting or causing any disrespect to anyone's name if they belong to anyone by coincidence.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your innocent kindhearted and pleasant leader,
Felix
Friday, August 27, 2010
Friday Fever 54
Good morning friday!
A newly married couple was planning to visit Hawaii.
"It's pronounced as Havaii," said the husband.
"No, it's Hawaii," the wife insisted.
They argued about it during the entire flight, right up until they disembarked in Oahu.
The husband approached a man at the arrival gate and asked, "Can you settle an argument for us? Is it pronounced as Hawaii or Havaii?"
"This is Havaii," the man replied.
"Ha!" said the husband to the wife. "See I told you I'm right." The husband turned back to the man, shook his hand and said, "Thank you!"
"You're velcome."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
A newly married couple was planning to visit Hawaii.
"It's pronounced as Havaii," said the husband.
"No, it's Hawaii," the wife insisted.
They argued about it during the entire flight, right up until they disembarked in Oahu.
The husband approached a man at the arrival gate and asked, "Can you settle an argument for us? Is it pronounced as Hawaii or Havaii?"
"This is Havaii," the man replied.
"Ha!" said the husband to the wife. "See I told you I'm right." The husband turned back to the man, shook his hand and said, "Thank you!"
"You're velcome."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, August 20, 2010
In Fine Feather
Good Morning Friday,It's been awhile since I've spoken to many of you. Hopefully everyone's doing well. I'm sure all of you are working hard at your own commitments, likewise for me.
Myself, I'll be fulfilling my obligated liability towards our country in about a month's time. Having spent monotonous days in these 2 years, I experienced frustrations, unreasonableness, difficulties, and though they might not be the harshest treatments people may think, there was no option to quit, thus an extremely tough test of endurance for me. Through these days, I found something I long for, very much.
I incorporated that into the Friday Logo. It's a quill that stands for freedom.
Today's context is, more often than not, a person may take his rights of doing what he wants for granted. What he doesn't realise is that the rights he has had actually been paid at someone else's expense. You have been enjoying freedom at the cost of others. Now I'm not saying it's a bad thing, because I too received such luxury. I'm reiterating the fact to appreciate the price of freedom, because it is simply too expensive.
I want you to know, Friday, you are granted liberty in this FAM. You are given the freedom of speech, of action, of choice. You are entitled the pleasure of making your own decisions here, this is what the feather signifies. We all have our own constraints and it would be impossible to cater to everyone's needs. Yet there is no pressure on you to commit time and efforts to Friday. What you are expected to do here, is enjoy the leisure, release the stress and just be yourself. Thus, I hope you can recognise the extravagance of this, especially in this world of reality. Freedom is not something that can be obtained easily. The extent of such luxury is bounded to the consideration for others. People may feel that what they want differ from what you want. I trust all of you mature young adults to exercise independence, balance your lifestyle and achieve freedom your own way while appreciating the limitations of such privilege.
Honestly, for being such a small FAM, we've shown results which are actually impressive for us to attain. This cannot have been done without everyone's contribution. And I look forward to that, on board this journey taking pleasure in our accomplishments, you too as an individual will find a purpose in a goal truly to yourself and of course, fall back on the feathers in this nest should you need our support. So when you do succeed earning your freedom, please share it with the people who work hard for this common aspiration in their lives.
Go forth spread your wings and fly everyone!
Leader of Friday,
Felix
Friday Fever 53
Good morning friday!
My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the boss." He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that wrote ,"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and encouraging leader,
Felix
My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, "I'm the boss." He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that wrote ,"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and encouraging leader,
Felix
Friday, August 13, 2010
Friday Fever 52
Good morning friday!
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls a private and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!"
As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and lucky leader,
Felix
General McKenzie was in charge of the Navy, and he was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. McKenzie arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and McKensie asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, Gral. McKenzie."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country."
"Well, my men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that."
So Marshall calls a private and says: "Private Johnson! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!"
"Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!"
As private Johnson ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered McKenzie and said:
"You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and lucky leader,
Felix
Friday, August 6, 2010
Friday Fever 51
Good afternoon friday!
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'", asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule Bessie into the..."
Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'." The lawyer interrupted.
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and as I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer cut in again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."
Joe thanked the judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other."
"I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans."
"Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie's groans so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out a gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me."
He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her."
"How are you feeling?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and capable leader,
Felix
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe.
"Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'", asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule Bessie into the..."
Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'." The lawyer interrupted.
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and as I was driving down the road..."
The lawyer cut in again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."
Joe thanked the judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other."
"I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear Bessie moaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans."
"Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie's groans so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out a gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me."
He said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her."
"How are you feeling?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and capable leader,
Felix
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday Fever 50
Good morning friday!
Donald rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday 3 brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" The president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"
His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands.
Finally, the president looked up and asked, "just how much is a brazillion?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Donald rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday 3 brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" The president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"
His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands.
Finally, the president looked up and asked, "just how much is a brazillion?"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, July 23, 2010
Friday Fever 49
Good morning friday!
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, one of the older workers had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "Alright. Get in."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and exemplary leader,
Felix
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, one of the older workers had had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "Alright. Get in."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and exemplary leader,
Felix
Friday, July 16, 2010
Friday Fever 48
Good morning friday!
Saddam's doctors had a meeting with his 20 doubles. They said they had some good news and some bad news.
The good news was that Saddam had not been killed in the US bombing attack, so they still had their jobs.
The bad news was that Saddam had lost an arm.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Saddam's doctors had a meeting with his 20 doubles. They said they had some good news and some bad news.
The good news was that Saddam had not been killed in the US bombing attack, so they still had their jobs.
The bad news was that Saddam had lost an arm.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friday Fever 47
Good evening friday!
A teacher, thief and a lawyer died and went to heaven.
When they got there, they were stopped by St. Peter, who then said to them, “Sorry, heaven’s crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t get in.”
He looked at the teacher, and asked her, “What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” the teacher replied, “the Titanic.”
So St. Peter let her into heaven.
Next, he turned to the thief. “How many people died on that ship?” St. Peter asked.
“Oooh, that’s tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500.”
St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.
Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: “Name them.”
Pleasant friday and enjoy your weekends everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and busy leader,
Felix
A teacher, thief and a lawyer died and went to heaven.
When they got there, they were stopped by St. Peter, who then said to them, “Sorry, heaven’s crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can’t get in.”
He looked at the teacher, and asked her, “What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” the teacher replied, “the Titanic.”
So St. Peter let her into heaven.
Next, he turned to the thief. “How many people died on that ship?” St. Peter asked.
“Oooh, that’s tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500.”
St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.
Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: “Name them.”
Pleasant friday and enjoy your weekends everyone!
Regards from your witty most talented and busy leader,
Felix
Friday, July 2, 2010
Friday Fever 46
Good morning friday!
Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert
Novice users - people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users - people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users - people who press the keys that break other people's computers.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and capable leader,
Felix
Computer users are divided into three types: Novice, Intermediate and Expert
Novice users - people who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.
Intermediate users - people who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.
Expert users - people who press the keys that break other people's computers.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and capable leader,
Felix
Friday, June 25, 2010
Friday Fever 45
Good morning friday!
Here's an illustration of the stock market.
Once upon a time, in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.
The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.
The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
While the man was away the assistant told the villagers, “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant again, and once again there were monkeys everywhere.
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and exceptional leader,
Felix
Here's an illustration of the stock market.
Once upon a time, in a place overrun with monkeys, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, they became harder to catch, so the villagers stopped their effort.
The man then announced that he would now pay $20 for each one. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. But soon the supply diminished even further and they were ever harder to catch, so people started going back to their farms and forgot about monkey catching.
The man increased his price to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce that it was an effort to even see a monkey, much less catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys for $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his behalf.
While the man was away the assistant told the villagers, “Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has bought. I will sell them to you at $35 each and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.”
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.
They never saw the man nor his assistant again, and once again there were monkeys everywhere.
Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and exceptional leader,
Felix
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday Fever 44
Good morning friday!
An old man fell down a flight of stairs. When he landed at the bottom, he picked himself up and was in a daze.
A young lady quickly rushed over to help and said, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," the old man replied, "I hit every one of them."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
An old man fell down a flight of stairs. When he landed at the bottom, he picked himself up and was in a daze.
A young lady quickly rushed over to help and said, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," the old man replied, "I hit every one of them."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
Friday, June 11, 2010
Friday Fever 43
Good morning friday!
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and studious leader,
Felix
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and studious leader,
Felix
Friday, June 4, 2010
Friday Fever 42
Good afternoon friday!
Two friends were talking about the danger of traveling by air.
One said, "I'm too scared to fly. Planes aren't safe. I prefer to travel by train."
"That's not true," said the other. "Do you think trains are safe? Just last week, there was a big train wreck in town and around 300 people lost their lives!"
"Is that so! What happened!?"
"A plane fell on it!"
Everyone who is having upcoming tests or exams, good luck! I'm one of them and I sureee need it!
Jiayou to those of you who are taking part in the FAM of the year's tournament event tomorrow! Really sorry I can't be there. I hope you guys are in your tip top conditions to play and chain like nobody's business! Bring good news back yea!
Lastly, I'd like to wish all the best to this friend who I've known for years now. Happy birthday dj! I know it's tomorrow but I like to start early. Hahahas! See you soon!
Alright, have a pleasant friday people!
Regards from your wisest most talented and supportive leader,
Felix
Two friends were talking about the danger of traveling by air.
One said, "I'm too scared to fly. Planes aren't safe. I prefer to travel by train."
"That's not true," said the other. "Do you think trains are safe? Just last week, there was a big train wreck in town and around 300 people lost their lives!"
"Is that so! What happened!?"
"A plane fell on it!"
Everyone who is having upcoming tests or exams, good luck! I'm one of them and I sureee need it!
Jiayou to those of you who are taking part in the FAM of the year's tournament event tomorrow! Really sorry I can't be there. I hope you guys are in your tip top conditions to play and chain like nobody's business! Bring good news back yea!
Lastly, I'd like to wish all the best to this friend who I've known for years now. Happy birthday dj! I know it's tomorrow but I like to start early. Hahahas! See you soon!
Alright, have a pleasant friday people!
Regards from your wisest most talented and supportive leader,
Felix
Friday, May 28, 2010
Friday Fever 41
Good evening friday!
"Jim, I heard you lost your job cause of an illness! Are you alright?"
"Thanks for your concern Amanda, yeaps my boss got sick of me."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
"Jim, I heard you lost your job cause of an illness! Are you alright?"
"Thanks for your concern Amanda, yeaps my boss got sick of me."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
Friday, May 21, 2010
Friday Fever 40
Good morning friday!
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
"Well," replied the pirate, "while my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch?"
"A sea gull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook..."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"?
"Well," replied the pirate, "while my men and I were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eyepatch?"
"A sea gull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a sea gull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with the hook..."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday Fever 39
Good morning friday!
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Two guys are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them.
They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first guy gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on.
The second guy says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we'll jump down and make a run for it."
The second guy says, "Are you crazy? You can't outrun a bear."
The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."
Regards from your wisest most talented and hardworking leader,
Felix
Friday, May 7, 2010
Friday Fever 38
Good morning friday!
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
"Does that mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?", the man asked followingly. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.
After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true.
"Does that mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?", the man asked followingly. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.
The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
Friday, April 30, 2010
Friday Fever 37
Good evening friday!
Ironically, I banged my head against a door that wouldn't budge today. hurhur.
Regards from your wisest most talented and clumsy leader,
Felix
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some sleep. However, the bats persisted until finally he gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said, and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"Yes, yes, yes!" the bats all screamed in a hungry frenzy.
"Good," said the first bat tiredly, "Because I didn't!"
Regards from your wisest most talented and clumsy leader,
Felix
Friday, April 23, 2010
Friday Fever 36
Good morning friday!
A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the janitor would remove them but the following day, the girls would do it again.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the janitor. She explained that these lip prints were causing a major problem for the janitor who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirror, she asked the janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long handled squeeze, dipped it into the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the washroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the janitor would remove them but the following day, the girls would do it again.
Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the janitor. She explained that these lip prints were causing a major problem for the janitor who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirror, she asked the janitor to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long handled squeeze, dipped it into the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, April 16, 2010
Friday Fever 35
Good morning friday!
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. Regards from your wisest most talented and lucky leader,
Felix
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure.
He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!"
Felix
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday Fever 34
Good morning friday!
(Alkivar) we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
(Alkivar) we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
(Alkivar) flew past a trooper on the side of the road
(Alkivar) trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
(Alkivar) we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
(Alkivar) we decided to be good and stop
(Alkivar) cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
(Alkivar) walks up to the side of the car and goes
(Alkivar) "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
(Alkivar) Jason pulls out his freaking pilot's license
(Alkivar) cop's jaw totally hits the ground, speechless
(Alkivar) most stunned face I've ever seen in my life
(Alkivar) in this practically a whimper goes "get the hell out of here"
(Alkivar) no ticket... too embarrassed apparently
(Alkivar) I'll never forget that day long as I live
(Alkivar) I was sure we were goin to jail
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
(Alkivar) we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
(Alkivar) we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
(Alkivar) flew past a trooper on the side of the road
(Alkivar) trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
(Alkivar) we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
(Alkivar) we decided to be good and stop
(Alkivar) cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
(Alkivar) walks up to the side of the car and goes
(Alkivar) "SON CAN I SEE YOUR PILOT'S LICENSE"
(Alkivar) Jason pulls out his freaking pilot's license
(Alkivar) cop's jaw totally hits the ground, speechless
(Alkivar) most stunned face I've ever seen in my life
(Alkivar) in this practically a whimper goes "get the hell out of here"
(Alkivar) no ticket... too embarrassed apparently
(Alkivar) I'll never forget that day long as I live
(Alkivar) I was sure we were goin to jail
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Friday, April 2, 2010
Friday Fever 33
Good morning friday!
Well, I certainly hope everyone had a good time out yesterday night.
Good thing students here don't wear yellow hats with red colour bags.
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
Pleasant good friday my friends!
Enjoy your holiday~
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
Well, I certainly hope everyone had a good time out yesterday night.
Good thing students here don't wear yellow hats with red colour bags.
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
"Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then."
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered.
"Bring them as well!"
They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
Pleasant good friday my friends!
Enjoy your holiday~
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
Good Friday ! ^_^
Happy Good Friday Fridayians !
Pre Good Friday celebration was.. Sucks.
The movie's totally nub.
Okay end of story. Goodnight. LOL.
Laspoei is a zai name. :D
Pre Good Friday celebration was.. Sucks.
The movie's totally nub.
Okay end of story. Goodnight. LOL.
Laspoei is a zai name. :D
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
My first !
Sorry I first time bought a channel.
Very suaku I know. So must haolian !
;yay !
Just nice I try to enter then just nice maintenance finish.
Just nice the channel finish I just nice bought it.
Omg ! ;shy.
Laspoei. (LOL)
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday Fever 32
Good evening friday!
Well I am terribly sorry, work just consumed my whole day today. Couldn't find time to do this.
There was a shop assistant who worked in the vegetable's section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied and insisted that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.
The shop assistant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."
As he was almost done saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager "okay-ed" the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the assistant and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The assistant replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager.
The assistant replied, "Cause they're all bimbos and hockey players up there."
"Really?" replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy instantly replied, "No kidding! Which team did she play for!?"
Pleasant evening people. Enjoy your weekends.
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
Well I am terribly sorry, work just consumed my whole day today. Couldn't find time to do this.
There was a shop assistant who worked in the vegetable's section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied and insisted that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head.
The shop assistant said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
He said to his manager, "There's some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce."
As he was almost done saying this, he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half." The manager "okay-ed" the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the assistant and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?"
The assistant replied, "Minnesota sir."
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota?" asked the manager.
The assistant replied, "Cause they're all bimbos and hockey players up there."
"Really?" replied the manager, "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy instantly replied, "No kidding! Which team did she play for!?"
Pleasant evening people. Enjoy your weekends.
Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday Fever 31
Good morning friday!
Rather busy day today. =O
3 conceited managers of a company were traveling to another of their branches in Africa in an airplane.
"I can throw a $1000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy," one manager broke the silence.
The second manager upon hearing this responded, "Oh yea? I can throw 10 $1000 bills and make 10 people very happy."
Not wanting to be looked down by the other 2 managers, the last manager boasted as well, "That's nothing. I can throw 100 of those $1000 bills and make 100 people very happy!"
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to the co-pilot.
"Such big shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out the window right now and make a few thousand people very very happy."
Happy birthday to elaine!
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
Rather busy day today. =O
3 conceited managers of a company were traveling to another of their branches in Africa in an airplane.
"I can throw a $1000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy," one manager broke the silence.
The second manager upon hearing this responded, "Oh yea? I can throw 10 $1000 bills and make 10 people very happy."
Not wanting to be looked down by the other 2 managers, the last manager boasted as well, "That's nothing. I can throw 100 of those $1000 bills and make 100 people very happy!"
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to the co-pilot.
"Such big shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out the window right now and make a few thousand people very very happy."
Happy birthday to elaine!
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and superb leader,
Felix
Friday, March 12, 2010
Friday Fever 30
Good morning friday!
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!
The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student.
He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"You don't know who I am!?" the student asked again in a louder voice, sounding arrogant.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
It was the final examination for an introductory Biology course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 500 students in the class!
The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail.
Half of an hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet.
"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet.
"Yes I will," replied the student.
He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing.
An hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there.
"No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late."
The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know who I am?"
"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice.
"You don't know who I am!?" the student asked again in a louder voice, sounding arrogant.
"No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority.
"Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday Fever 29
Good morning friday!
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" Said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay, now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he asked "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor". "He was just here to deliver pizza!"
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!
Cheers!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" Said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay, now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he asked "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor". "He was just here to deliver pizza!"
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!
Cheers!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday Fever 28
Good morning friday!
I'm sure the ones taking exams are done with them. Have a good break and enjoy your holidays!
A blonde wanted to disprove the hypothesis that "blondes are dumb". So she grabbed a world map and started memorising the capitals of every country.
Feeling confident after several months of intensive studying, she organised a massive press conference to show off her intelligence.
A renowned geographer was there to test the blonde of her geographical knowledge.
And so he asked her, "What is the capital of Thailand?"
Without hesitation, she replied, "T!"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
I'm sure the ones taking exams are done with them. Have a good break and enjoy your holidays!
A blonde wanted to disprove the hypothesis that "blondes are dumb". So she grabbed a world map and started memorising the capitals of every country.
Feeling confident after several months of intensive studying, she organised a massive press conference to show off her intelligence.
A renowned geographer was there to test the blonde of her geographical knowledge.
And so he asked her, "What is the capital of Thailand?"
Without hesitation, she replied, "T!"
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday Fever 27
Good morning friday!
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly assured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!
Regards from your wisest most gifted and amazing leader,
Felix
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly assured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter in to the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she had better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!
Regards from your wisest most gifted and amazing leader,
Felix
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Happy 虎 Year !
Yoyoyo !
Although many of us are busy gambling & collecting angbaos on this day..
And some are busy spamming bakuas ?! o_o
Anyway, wish all of you huat on this day !
Moi is off to Malaysia to spend my 初二 tmr.
Don't too miss me k ! :D
Signing off with infinite LOVE,
Laspbelly ♥.
Happy CNY & Vday to all my beloved Friday members ! ♥
Sorry ah
I mega abit off time. D:
And and, why isnt the ss of girls pwning posted up ? :(
Although many of us are busy gambling & collecting angbaos on this day..
And some are busy spamming bakuas ?! o_o
Anyway, wish all of you huat on this day !
Moi is off to Malaysia to spend my 初二 tmr.
Don't too miss me k ! :D
Signing off with infinite LOVE,
Laspbelly ♥.
Roar of the Tiger
It's the chinese new year!
Some little reunion in audi. Well, not everyone, but does feel kinda warming all of a sudden to be playing team cc4 against each other again. hahahas.
Owning the floor. =O
Secondly, taking the chance to congratulate zh and cel for their max ring, acquired a few days ago. Their tagging finally paid off!
Lastly, I want to thank everyone's efforts in contributing to earning fp for friday!
We crossed the 5 digit milestone! 10k fp!
Really, we are moving mountains. hahas.
Alrights, hereby wishing everyone a happy lunar new year, a wonderful valentine's day, and a fantastic total defence day!
Do have fun, but bear in mind safety too. =)
Regards,
Felix
Some little reunion in audi. Well, not everyone, but does feel kinda warming all of a sudden to be playing team cc4 against each other again. hahahas.
Owning the floor. =OSecondly, taking the chance to congratulate zh and cel for their max ring, acquired a few days ago. Their tagging finally paid off!
Lastly, I want to thank everyone's efforts in contributing to earning fp for friday!
We crossed the 5 digit milestone! 10k fp!
Really, we are moving mountains. hahas.
Alrights, hereby wishing everyone a happy lunar new year, a wonderful valentine's day, and a fantastic total defence day!
Do have fun, but bear in mind safety too. =)
Regards,
Felix
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday Fever 26
Good morning friday!
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiousity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1000 valentine day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
It's nearing cny. I hereby wish you all a marvelous reap of hongbaos.
Happy cny! Huat ah!
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiousity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing.
"I'm sending out 1000 valentine day cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer."
It's nearing cny. I hereby wish you all a marvelous reap of hongbaos.
Happy cny! Huat ah!
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
Friday, February 5, 2010
Friday Fever 25
Good afternoon friday!
Guess who just woke up. Hurs. This friday is stuck between 2 birthdays - vil and zh. Well, happy birthdays!
Once upon a time a very rich man invited all the young men in town for a party by the poolside. He announced to all that whoever can swim from one end of the pool to the other will be granted whatever he wishes.
All the men took off their trousers and moved to the edge of the pool.
Then the rich man added, "but there are a couple of hungry crocodiles inside and they haven't been fed for a week."
All the men stepped back from the edge of the pool and put their trousers back.
Nobody wanted to dive in any longer. The rich man laughed. He turned and attempted to walk away.
But suddenly, there was a splash. One man swam furiously to the other end of the pool like a torpedo. He could have beaten Phelps.
The crowd clapped and cheered as the young man clambered to safe ground.
Astonished, the rich man congratulated him, "Well done young man! Now what do you want? A million dollars?"
The young man shook his head, panting profusely while trying to regain his breath.
"Do you want to marry my daughter?" The rich man heartily laughed at the ambitious youngster, surprised.
Again the young man shook his head, still gasping for air.
"What do you want then? Tell me!" The rich man could not think of anything else to give him.
The young man exclaimed, "I just want the @#$%&! who pushed me into the pool!"
Faced with a big problem, sometimes we just need a push from others before we can overcome it, don't we?
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most encouraging and supreme leader,
Felix
Guess who just woke up. Hurs. This friday is stuck between 2 birthdays - vil and zh. Well, happy birthdays!
Once upon a time a very rich man invited all the young men in town for a party by the poolside. He announced to all that whoever can swim from one end of the pool to the other will be granted whatever he wishes.
All the men took off their trousers and moved to the edge of the pool.
Then the rich man added, "but there are a couple of hungry crocodiles inside and they haven't been fed for a week."
All the men stepped back from the edge of the pool and put their trousers back.
Nobody wanted to dive in any longer. The rich man laughed. He turned and attempted to walk away.
But suddenly, there was a splash. One man swam furiously to the other end of the pool like a torpedo. He could have beaten Phelps.
The crowd clapped and cheered as the young man clambered to safe ground.
Astonished, the rich man congratulated him, "Well done young man! Now what do you want? A million dollars?"
The young man shook his head, panting profusely while trying to regain his breath.
"Do you want to marry my daughter?" The rich man heartily laughed at the ambitious youngster, surprised.
Again the young man shook his head, still gasping for air.
"What do you want then? Tell me!" The rich man could not think of anything else to give him.
The young man exclaimed, "I just want the @#$%&! who pushed me into the pool!"
Faced with a big problem, sometimes we just need a push from others before we can overcome it, don't we?
Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most encouraging and supreme leader,
Felix
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday Fever 24
Good morning friday!
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer of the train company insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he had done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"
It's coming to the end of january. Wishing you all a pleasant friday!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer of the train company insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he had done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the damned lantern was lit!"
It's coming to the end of january. Wishing you all a pleasant friday!
Regards from your wisest most talented and witty leader,
Felix
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Smexy Solo !
Possessing a red rank aint anything great.
Of cause, having a pair of wings does not necessarily make u fly !
Brought to you by the one that cant fly with wings. D:
(I will own one day !)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Friday Fever 23
Good morning friday!
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
It's raining a gloomy morning. But still, pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
"Why do we have to learn this stuff?" The young man blurted out.
"To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a long time. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school."
It's raining a gloomy morning. But still, pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your wisest most talented and extraordinary leader,
Felix
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday Fever 22
Good morning friday!
Discussion on phone bills
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called for a family meeting.
Dad: People, this is unacceptable. You've got to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone. I use the one at the office.
Mom: Same here, I hardly use our home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use it at all. I always call using my company mobile.
Maid: So what's the problem here? We all use our workplace telephones.
Alot of work for me! Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most brilliant and amazing leader,
Felix
Discussion on phone bills
The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called for a family meeting.
Dad: People, this is unacceptable. You've got to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone. I use the one at the office.
Mom: Same here, I hardly use our home telephone as I use my work telephone.
Son: Me too, I never use it at all. I always call using my company mobile.
Maid: So what's the problem here? We all use our workplace telephones.
Alot of work for me! Pleasant friday everyone!
Regards from your witty most brilliant and amazing leader,
Felix
Friday, January 8, 2010
Friday Fever 21
Good morning friday!
One day, all the blondes in the world were present at this huge stadium. Right in the centre stage, the president of the blonde society was holding a microphone.
Blonde president: "Today, we are gathered here for an important event! We will prove to the world that we, blondes, are not as stupid as they say!"
The whole stadium clapped and cheered.
Blonde President: "Now, I shall choose one of you randomly to ask a simple question. She will answer it correctly and prove that blondes are not stupid!
The stadium of blondes cheered even louder. And so a blonde was chosen out of the thousands and was brought to the stage.
Blonde President: "The question is, what is 1+1?"
Blonde girl: "Erms.. 5?"
The crowd turned silent suddenly at her answer. After awhile, they began chanting, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Blonde President: "Alright, we shall give her another chance!"
The crowd cheers!
Blonde President: "What is 1+1?"
Blonde Girl: "Errrs.. Isit 3?"
Again, the crowd went silent at her answer. Then they chanted again, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Blonde President: "Very well! We will let her try again!"
The crowd goes wild!
Blonde President: "What is 1+1?"
Blonde Girl: "I'm not sure but.. Is it 2?"
The crowd goes silent once more..
Then starts chanting, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Alright, pleasant friday people!
Regards from your wisest most talented and spectacular leader,
Felix
One day, all the blondes in the world were present at this huge stadium. Right in the centre stage, the president of the blonde society was holding a microphone.
Blonde president: "Today, we are gathered here for an important event! We will prove to the world that we, blondes, are not as stupid as they say!"
The whole stadium clapped and cheered.
Blonde President: "Now, I shall choose one of you randomly to ask a simple question. She will answer it correctly and prove that blondes are not stupid!
The stadium of blondes cheered even louder. And so a blonde was chosen out of the thousands and was brought to the stage.
Blonde President: "The question is, what is 1+1?"
Blonde girl: "Erms.. 5?"
The crowd turned silent suddenly at her answer. After awhile, they began chanting, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Blonde President: "Alright, we shall give her another chance!"
The crowd cheers!
Blonde President: "What is 1+1?"
Blonde Girl: "Errrs.. Isit 3?"
Again, the crowd went silent at her answer. Then they chanted again, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Blonde President: "Very well! We will let her try again!"
The crowd goes wild!
Blonde President: "What is 1+1?"
Blonde Girl: "I'm not sure but.. Is it 2?"
The crowd goes silent once more..
Then starts chanting, "GIVE HER A CHANCE! GIVE HER A CHANCE!"
Alright, pleasant friday people!
Regards from your wisest most talented and spectacular leader,
Felix
Saturday, January 2, 2010
A lesson on BERRIES !
RAWR ! Perhaps my raspberry picture is too small thats why you all mistaken it as a strawberry :@
Now let me educate you all more on berries ! ^_^
Strawberry (Walau the strawberry looks sexy ._.)
- The fruit of any stemless plant belonging to the genus Fragaria, of the rose family, consisting of an enlarged fleshy receptacle bearing achenes on its exterior.
Raspberry
- The fruit of any of several shrubs belonging to the genus Rubus, of the rose family, consisting of small and juicy red, black, or pale yellow drupelets forming a detachable cap about a convex receptacle. (Blablabla... just rmb raspberry pwns !)
Bearberry
- Any of several prostrate shrubs belonging to the genus Arctostaphylos, of the heath family, esp. A. uva-ursi, having tonic, astringent leaves and bright-red berries.
Wolfberry
- A North American shrub, Symphoricarpos occidentalis, of the honeysuckle family, having gray, hairy, egg-shaped leaves and pinkish, bell-shaped flowers, and bearing white berries. (Since when is 枸杞子 white ? o_o)
Blackberry ! [As requested]
- The fruit, black or very dark purple when ripe, of certain species of the genus Rubus.
NOTE: IT IS NOT A PHONE.
Okay ! I believe this lesson is very FRUITful because you all finally see how bearberry is like ! (Like wow !) And also, you've learnt that wolfberry is from North America and is hairy. LOL. And and ! We learnt many chim words right ? ;)
*Linglingling*(Ling ding dong ling ding dong ~) Lesson's over ! :O
Someone who pwn 13,
Now let me educate you all more on berries ! ^_^
Strawberry (Walau the strawberry looks sexy ._.)
- The fruit of any stemless plant belonging to the genus Fragaria, of the rose family, consisting of an enlarged fleshy receptacle bearing achenes on its exterior.
Raspberry
- The fruit of any of several shrubs belonging to the genus Rubus, of the rose family, consisting of small and juicy red, black, or pale yellow drupelets forming a detachable cap about a convex receptacle. (Blablabla... just rmb raspberry pwns !)
Bearberry
- Any of several prostrate shrubs belonging to the genus Arctostaphylos, of the heath family, esp. A. uva-ursi, having tonic, astringent leaves and bright-red berries.
Wolfberry
- A North American shrub, Symphoricarpos occidentalis, of the honeysuckle family, having gray, hairy, egg-shaped leaves and pinkish, bell-shaped flowers, and bearing white berries. (Since when is 枸杞子 white ? o_o)
Blackberry ! [As requested]
- The fruit, black or very dark purple when ripe, of certain species of the genus Rubus.
NOTE: IT IS NOT A PHONE.
Okay ! I believe this lesson is very FRUITful because you all finally see how bearberry is like ! (Like wow !) And also, you've learnt that wolfberry is from North America and is hairy. LOL. And and ! We learnt many chim words right ? ;)
*Linglingling*
Someone who pwn 13,
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friday Fever 20
Good morning friday!
A customer at Green's gourmet grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" The customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey Green," he says. "You're selling me fish heads for $5 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says green. "You're smarter already."
It had been just a week since I wished everyone merry christmas. Now I hereby give you blessings for your new year. Happy 2010!
Regards from your optimistic most brilliant and cheerful leader,
Felix
A customer at Green's gourmet grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.
"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"
"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."
"You sell them here?" The customer asks.
"Only $5 each," says green.
The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.
"You didn't eat enough," says green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.
"Hey Green," he says. "You're selling me fish heads for $5 a piece when I can buy the whole fish for $3. You're ripping me off!"
"You see?" says green. "You're smarter already."
It had been just a week since I wished everyone merry christmas. Now I hereby give you blessings for your new year. Happy 2010!
Regards from your optimistic most brilliant and cheerful leader,
Felix
Happy 2O1O !
HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIDAY !
Wish all of you all the very best in this new year !
Jiayou in leveling, in studies, in work, and in every thing that you do. :)
Friday HUATHUAT !
Signing off,
Wish all of you all the very best in this new year !
Jiayou in leveling, in studies, in work, and in every thing that you do. :)
Friday HUATHUAT !
Signing off,
