Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Fever 58

Good morning friday!

A woman pregnant with twins got into a car accident and went into a coma...

She was rushed to the hospital where doctors delivered her twins to save them. But as she was in a coma and her husband was overseas on business, her brother was the only one present to name her children.

When she came out of the coma, hours after arriving at the hospital, and found out that her brother had named the twins, she was very worried. Her brother was not very bright, and she didn't think he would have done a very good job of naming her kid's names.

When he came in to see her she asked, "So what names did you choose for my children?"

He replied, "The first born was a girl."

"Oh," started the woman, "and what did you name her?"

"Denise," answered her brother.

The woman was very surprised, and very pleased, "Hey, that's not half bad!" She exclaimed to her brother. "And what did you name the second child?" She waited excitedly to hear the name her brother had chosen for the other.

"Well, the next born was a boy," her brother informed her.

"Yes, and what did you name him?" inquired the woman.

"Denephew" he said.

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and outstanding leader,
Felix

Friday, September 17, 2010

Friday Fever 57

Good morning friday!

Three men were traveling the amazon: a canadian, an american and a mexican.
They got captured by a fierce tribe of amazons.

The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. But they were given a chance to put something behind their backs before that, and if they can survive the 10 painful whips, they will be released.

He asks the canadian, "What do you want on your back before whipping?"

The canadian responds, "I will take oil!"

So the amazons applied oil on his back, and a large amazon whips him 10 times. But when he is finished, the canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.

The amazons haul the canadian away, and the tribe chief says to the mexican, "Now, what do you want on your back?"

"I will take nothing! I will take the whips like a real man!" shouted the mexican, and he boldly stands there taking his 10 lashings without a single flinch.

The tribe chief is rather impressed. He turns to the american, "It's your turn, what do you take on your back?"

"I want the mexican!" he exclaimed.

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and happy leader,
Felix

Friday, September 10, 2010

Friday Fever 56

Good morning friday!

A family who had just moved into a new neighbourhood was anxious to make a good impression. But the neighbours seemed cold and made no overtures of welcome.

The mother of the brood was overjoyed when finally her youngest son ran in and announced happily, "Mommy, the lady down the street asked for my name today!"

"Oh, how nice!" exclaimed the mother enthusiastically. "And then what did she do?"

"Then she gave it to the policeman," the boy said.

Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday Fever 55

Good morning friday!

Why chinese shouldn't have christian names:

Anne Chang: dirty (mandarin)
Anne Chin: keep quiet (mandarin)
Faye Chen: dusty (mandarin)
Carl Cheng: buttock (hokkien)
Monica Cheng: touch your buttocks (hokkien)
Lucy Leow: you are dead (hokkien)
Jane Tan: frying eggs (mandarin)
Suzie Leow: lose till death (hokkien)
Henry Mah: hate your mom (mandarin)
Corrine Tai: poor fellow (hokkien)
Paul Chan: bankrupt (mandarin)
Nelson Tan: bird laying eggs (mandarin)
Leslie Tong: rubbish bin (mandarin)
Carmen Teng: leg hair long (hokkien)
Connie Mah: call your mother (cantonese)
Danny See: squeeze you to death (hokkien)
Rosie Teng: screws and nails (mandarin)
Pete Tsai: nose droppings (hokkien)
Macy Koh: never die before (cantonese)

Disclaimer: These were extracts and there was no intention of insulting or causing any disrespect to anyone's name if they belong to anyone by coincidence.

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your innocent kindhearted and pleasant leader,
Felix