Good morning friday!
Hi, I'm alone in office today. Woohooo!
One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidences of the most amazing shooting. On trees, walls, and on fences were numerous bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center. The FBI asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the village idiot.
"This is the best marksmanship I've ever seen," said the FBI man. "How in the world do you do it?"
"Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."
Continue jy
To candy val ying exams!
To cheryl echy elaine work!
To zh cel sam dj ting sch!
Have a pleasant friday everyone!
万岁
万岁
万万岁
Your Majesty,
Felix
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Friday Fever 10
Good morning friday!!
Currently keeping my spirits up because my superior aint here today woots!
Anyways here's today's lesson on
Business logics and marketing:
BUSINESS LOGICS~
Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'
Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Finally, Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'This is how business is done!
Moral: Even if you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive.
MARKETING~
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and get her telephone number.The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me...'
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.
In addition, the following is dedicated especially to candy and val.
To Realize The Value of Time...
To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute:
Ask the person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one. And your 4 years worth of efforts in secondary school has come down to this last lap of the marathon. Make the most out of the remaining last few days. And please fully utilise of every minute and second during your papers to check through thoroughly. Do not take the given time for granted. Do all you can for your revision and papers, never give up, and then you can play all you want after it all ends! 加油!
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!!
Regards from your leader who's spending time tonight with vampires, werewolves, witches, ghouls and monsters,
Felix
Currently keeping my spirits up because my superior aint here today woots!
Anyways here's today's lesson on
Business logics and marketing:
BUSINESS LOGICS~
Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father: 'But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter.'
Son: 'Well, in that case...ok'
Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates: 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father: 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates: 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Finally, Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President: 'But I already have more vice-presidents than I need!'
Father: 'But this young man is Bill Gates' son-in-law.'
President: 'Ah, in that case...ok'This is how business is done!
Moral: Even if you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive.
MARKETING~
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and get her telephone number.The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me...'
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback.
In addition, the following is dedicated especially to candy and val.
To Realize The Value of Time...
To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of one minute:
Ask the person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of one second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one. And your 4 years worth of efforts in secondary school has come down to this last lap of the marathon. Make the most out of the remaining last few days. And please fully utilise of every minute and second during your papers to check through thoroughly. Do not take the given time for granted. Do all you can for your revision and papers, never give up, and then you can play all you want after it all ends! 加油!
Wishing everyone a pleasant friday!!
Regards from your leader who's spending time tonight with vampires, werewolves, witches, ghouls and monsters,
Felix
Friday, October 16, 2009
Friday Fever 9
Good afternoon friday!
Today's issue is in the afternoon because I was busy in e morning.
Catching sleep. Hahahas
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me she could see from the bedroom window that I had left the light in the shed on.
As I looked myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in the area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. I said "ok" and hung up.
I waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."
Within 5 minutes, there were half a dozen police cars of the armed response unit in the area and of course they caught the burglars red handed.
One of the officers said, "I thought you said you shot them!"
I replied with, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
When you really want something done, you will think of a way.
Morning greetings from your half-awake, hungry-for-breakfast and hungry-for-lunch leader,
Felix
Today's issue is in the afternoon because I was busy in e morning.
Catching sleep. Hahahas
I was going to bed the other night when my wife told me she could see from the bedroom window that I had left the light in the shed on.
As I looked myself, I saw that there were people in the shed taking things. I phoned the police, but they told me that no one was in the area to help at this time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. I said "ok" and hung up.
I waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've shot them all."
Within 5 minutes, there were half a dozen police cars of the armed response unit in the area and of course they caught the burglars red handed.
One of the officers said, "I thought you said you shot them!"
I replied with, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
When you really want something done, you will think of a way.
Morning greetings from your half-awake, hungry-for-breakfast and hungry-for-lunch leader,
Felix
Friday, October 9, 2009
Friday Fever 8
Good morning friday!
Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
"I started a new practice last year," the first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."
"Why in the world would you do that?" The other asked.
She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you do it.
Pleasant friday ya'll! I'm off to little india to celebrate deepavali! Haf to eat indian cuisine and play hunt for indian items game! If I dun make it out alive, everyone who receive this please attend my funeral. I will bless u all.
Regards from your selfless, brave and most courageous leader who's gonna venture into an extremely perilous area of singapore,
Felix
Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business.
"I started a new practice last year," the first one said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months."
"Why in the world would you do that?" The other asked.
She responded, "It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without."
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well you do it.
Pleasant friday ya'll! I'm off to little india to celebrate deepavali! Haf to eat indian cuisine and play hunt for indian items game! If I dun make it out alive, everyone who receive this please attend my funeral. I will bless u all.
Regards from your selfless, brave and most courageous leader who's gonna venture into an extremely perilous area of singapore,
Felix
Friday, October 2, 2009
Friday Fever 7
Good morning friday!!
It was the night before christmas, and I had just finished my last minute shopping. It was snowing and pretty cold in the car, but yet, as I reached my doorstep, I realised I left my receipts at the mall.
I immediately drove back to the mall to retrieve it, and as I reached the carpark of the mall, I saw a little boy of 10 sobbing softly.
"Hey kid, what's wrong?" I questioned.
In between sniffs and sobs, he explained to me that he came from a family of 6, and his father just passed away the year before. For the 10 years of his life, he had never celebrated christmas with presents, nor his siblings or mother.
Yet, somehow, his mother scrimped and saved, and managed to get him $100 to buy presents for his siblings and himself.
Being the oldest, he was sent to the mall with this happy task of buying presents. However, he was accosted by 2 older kids and they cruelly took away one of his $50 dollar bills.
Faced with only half of his money left, he calculated that he was unable to buy sufficient gifts for his family, and he was reduced to tears.
I listened to his story with sympathy and asked, "Why didn't you call for help when the kids took away your money?"
He sniffed, "I did, but no one heard me.."
"So how did you call for help?", I asked.
"Help! Help me!" He mewed, in an almost inaudible voice. The boy's pitiful shouts could not have made it past 5 metres, let alone for anyone near to hear.
Upon realising that no one could possibly hear the boy's cries for help, I took his remaining $50 dollar bill and ran off.
Joy is not in things; it is in us.
Wishing you a happy friday! Smile!
Regards from your witty most brilliant and one of a kind leader,
Felix
It was the night before christmas, and I had just finished my last minute shopping. It was snowing and pretty cold in the car, but yet, as I reached my doorstep, I realised I left my receipts at the mall.
I immediately drove back to the mall to retrieve it, and as I reached the carpark of the mall, I saw a little boy of 10 sobbing softly.
"Hey kid, what's wrong?" I questioned.
In between sniffs and sobs, he explained to me that he came from a family of 6, and his father just passed away the year before. For the 10 years of his life, he had never celebrated christmas with presents, nor his siblings or mother.
Yet, somehow, his mother scrimped and saved, and managed to get him $100 to buy presents for his siblings and himself.
Being the oldest, he was sent to the mall with this happy task of buying presents. However, he was accosted by 2 older kids and they cruelly took away one of his $50 dollar bills.
Faced with only half of his money left, he calculated that he was unable to buy sufficient gifts for his family, and he was reduced to tears.
I listened to his story with sympathy and asked, "Why didn't you call for help when the kids took away your money?"
He sniffed, "I did, but no one heard me.."
"So how did you call for help?", I asked.
"Help! Help me!" He mewed, in an almost inaudible voice. The boy's pitiful shouts could not have made it past 5 metres, let alone for anyone near to hear.
Upon realising that no one could possibly hear the boy's cries for help, I took his remaining $50 dollar bill and ran off.
Joy is not in things; it is in us.
Wishing you a happy friday! Smile!
Regards from your witty most brilliant and one of a kind leader,
Felix