Friday Fever 102

Good morning friday!

A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn't serve grapes.

The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and says, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes.

The duck leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender begins to yell: "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and exemplary leader,
Felix

Friday Fever 101

Good morning friday!

John called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the girl of his dreams. Now what should he do?

His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the girl came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone.

"I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes."

"What's wrong with that?" asked his mother.

"We hadn't started eating yet."

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most amazing and fantastic leader,
Felix

Felix's Turtle

zhihui and celine went to taiwan and got us some souvenirs!

I received chose my turtle! =p
P.S. It glows in the dark! So cool!

Friday Fever 100

Good morning friday!

Oh, it's issue 100 already! >=D

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."


Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and fascinating leader,
Felix

Friday Fever 99

Good morning friday!

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”

“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix

Friday Fever 98

Good afternoon friday!

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook!"

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and amazing leader,
Felix