Friday, January 28, 2011

Friday Fever 76

Good afternoon friday!

A timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and,
clearing his throat, asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns
the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"

A giant of a man wearing biker leathers with his body hair growing
out of the seams turned slowly on his stool. He looked down at
the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"

"Well," squeaked the little man, very nervous, "I believe my dog
just killed it, sir."

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind
of dog do you have?"

"Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four-week-old puppy."

"Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill my
Doberman?"

"It appears that he choked on it, sir."

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and inspiring leader,
Felix

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday Fever 75

Good afternoon friday!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.

Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.

Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"

Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".


Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and wonderful leader,
Felix

Friday, January 14, 2011

Friday Fever 74

Good afternoon friday!

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was knitting!
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the woman yelled back, "Cardigan!"

Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and fantastic leader,
Felix

Friday, January 7, 2011

Friday Fever 73

Good afternoon friday!

A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.

"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"

"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"


Pleasant friday everyone!

Regards from your wisest most talented and original leader,
Felix